“Kristie” was my masterpiece. The very best of my musical compositions. Until in my quest to achieve the most appealing melody, “she” was altered, losing “her” zest and life, and relegated to an interior state where I had completely lost grip perspective –myself.
Like a scroll I had my life figured out at age 13; the quality of my life, the calibre of my personality, and my desired status were laid before me. By design, some Godsend persons –Grandpa Lucas, D.D, and Martha—had some guiding voices which always echoed the individual I was to become. Abiding faith, integrity, and boundless love were among the profound virtues I lived by. The path chartered for me looked insurmountable, yet the hope of a fulfilling end-point wasn’t far-fetched.
As every one of my cohorts, I came to the sudden realization that I was caught up in a system where the convention was inevitable: schooling became an obligation instead of a passionate venture; career became a die-hard ambition instead of a creative enterprise and the free-will of a boy was circumscribed by dos and don’ts.
What I was told was that it will serve me the brightest future my guardians never had.
The inevitable struck happened when my parent’ hard-earned business was gutted by fire. Our source of livelihood was reduced to piles ashes, and the anchors of my anticipated life were crumbled to near rubble.
Both parents earning a pittance, keeping the family together was not an easy task. With the unexpected turn of event, I took up menial jobs during school breaks to support my parent cater to the family.
Burning the candle at both ends, necessity was laid on me to thrive at school work as the fate of my family also hanged in the balance—every member of my family grappled with a part of the predicament we faced.
At age 18, after high school, I was clueless what my next line of action was. I could feel some invisible hands tossing me in a scattershot manner. Should I follow form as everybody? Or should I seek the path that I believe will culminate in something worthwhile? I need the full measure of my potential exploited but was halved.
The anxiety of my standing in life drowned me in a state of identity crises. Some devastating ordeals—family squabbles, inadequate college funding, and the dictates of a career path--took an entrenched tow on my make-up, gravitating me towards activities out of tune with my ambitions. However, the impetus to survive this stark reality compelled me to keep my head high.
The motivation for a turnaround was pivotal, so I challenged myself to have something to look up to and something to chase. My pursuit was to be a better person of myself and go beyond the envelope of my ability.
In other not to quench my aspirational goal, I had to take full responsibility for myself. This realization altered my perspective for the better, but for one honest mistake.
In light of retracing my steps and putting myself back on track, I gave room to those who never had my interest at heart have opinions in my life’s decisions. People I sought counsel from concluded it was only a figment of imagination for me to hold such grandiose views about myself.
This consequence left me crestfallen; a dented ago, a bruised self-confidence, and indecisiveness were ailing attributes I contended with.
Viewing the story of others through the lens of their world, I came to a firm conclusion that it was human to go through this turbulence, and in the grand scheme of things, anyone yet to encounter such twists hasn’t tasted life to its fullest.
The telling discovery from this rough patch was that I felt the musical strings re-aligned and was privileged to learn at the feet of a master—LIFE.