The night stood so long. Longer than all my years spent on this planet. It was all quiet. The only sound I could hear was that of the night crickets whistling into my confused mind about how beautiful the night was. I looked outside, but everywhere looked so dark. The moonlight was out today. Was the world coming to an end or was it mine that was ending? I asked myself. I checked the time and it was just quarter past nine. My phone battery was near dead and its network signal vanished.
I wondered why the night was so still. I decided to look back to the events of the previous day. I was happy, celebrating with friends, joking around and dancing to the tunes of some good music. What then happened that suddenly my happiness turned into my darkest moment?
It feels like my world is ending, the burden of the world all crushing on me. I feel heavy hearted. My eyes feel dim and my feet too heavy to be moved. My lips are shaking and my very hands feel rigid. Initially, I thought I was having a seizure but I realized I wasn’t.
My eyes are filled with uncontrollable tears; tears from a wounded heart, feeble and tender soul. They trickle from the eyes to the cheeks. I can see my mouth open and close but no sound or word will form. My body feels lifeless yet I can hear my own breath. My heart pounces slowly like a dying woman. Oh, I’m doomed! I am never loved or cared for. Why is my case so different from others? Why can't I be happy for once?
Everyone is against me. Everything is falling apart. I thought life was supposed to be fun, interesting and enjoyable. Why do I have to go through this every now and then? I think I should end it all. Enough of the hurts, I will give up now. I will say my last prayer and then say a goodbye to this cruel world.
Then I heard a voice from within, "Are you ready to leave this world and suffer in eternal pain? Are you sure if you end it today, you will have a peaceful rest? Think about your family and all your loved ones. They still love you and God loves you most. Suicide is not the final answer. Do you remember what scripture says about it? "
Rise, rise, shake away all self-doubt, negative thoughts and any pessimism. Be positive!
Look around you and see how beautiful God has made you. Believe in your capabilities, strengths and say to yourself, ‘I am specially made and assigned to accomplish a purpose on this planet.’ You can make changes, there is no testimony without a test, no success without failure. Ask those who have made it about their struggles. Why do you want to give up so soon? Push harder, fight the good fight with all your might and you will overcome and conquer.
Do not think yourself as a weakling. You have all the power to make and unmake yourself. Just believe you can and you will. Do not feel intimidated by anyone or any circumstance. Whatever you have to do, do it now. Life is too short to waste time on negative thoughts and pessimism. Don't wait, just do it, and you will smile upon your own success.